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Drawing from the Well

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Total Scenes: 154

I’m in a bad cycle right now. More is coming, I just have to get back into balance. I know I keep saying that. It’s gonna happen. Promise.

Filling the Well

That Hideous Strength: 34%
Sightwitch: 48%
Jessica Jones: S2E10 of 13

Yeah, no movement here either. See below for why.

Polishing the Well

Our Lilly trying to pick up a satellite signal

Our poor kitty Lilly is in the cone of woe right now while she heals. Her surgery went great. She’s doing well. She’s bumping into everything because of her cone but she’s bearing it pretty well. For once, she actually slept with us instead of sleeping all over the house. She’ll be in this for the next 10-14 days. The funniest thing was when she figured out she could scare her sister-cat by chasing her cone-first. Best part of my day yesterday.

Well Chat

Caring for Yourself Amongst Caring for Everything Else

I think this is an appropriate topic right now both because it is trending and because it’s advice I need to take. As a father and a husband, I do the best I can to make sure everyone has what they need. Admittedly, my wife is WAY better at this than I will ever be and always has been. That doesn’t stop me from trying, though. In addition to that, I’m dedicated to my job and doing the best I can at that, including working long and extra hours. Plus, I’ve got this little dream of being a full-time author one day…which requires a lot of work now in the interim.

None of these are complaints; they are reality. But what’s missing here?

Oh right, I’m not really taking care of myself.

*takes bite of toast to take own incoming advice*

It’s totally natural and normal to go through periods of time where you are doing things to others to the degree that it is to your own detriment. That means you care about those for whom you’re working and that’s virtuous. But when those periods pass (or for breaths within that period if it lasts longer), you have to reverse the process to maintain balance.

I talk A LOT about balance on this blog. It’s a theme in my novels as well (certainly in The Tidestone Cycle). That’s because it’s important. My mother had a lot of turns of phrase that she threw at my brother and me to point us in the right direction. One of those was, “Moderation is the spice of life.” As a kid, I didn’t get it; I just thought that meant, “Whatever you’re doing, do it less.” Now, as an adult and a parent myself, I get the dangers of excess in anything. And I mean anything:

  1. Too much ice cream makes you fat and leads to diabetes and other disorders.
  2. Too much exercise can lead to dehydration and heat exhaustion.
  3. Too much fasting/dieting leads to malnutrition and anorexia.
  4. Too many books (blasphemy, I know) leads to hermitism.
  5. Too many video games leads to ADD and sloth.
  6. Too much money leads to greed.
  7. Too much writing leads to cramps.

The list goes on. However, if you exercise a little, read some, write some, make enough money, eat the right amounts (including a little ice cream here and there), and play a video game now and then, not only will you have a balanced life, you’ll have a full one!

So how does self-care feed into moderation? They’re kind of the same thing. We all have things that we enjoy. Reading, video games, walks, pedicures, baths, chocolate, and shopping are all things that make some of us happy (though I venture to guess that there are few people that see ALL of those things as self-care). If you do all things in moderation, there is time for the things you love most. And it is those things that allow you to unwind and recharge your batteries to power you through the things that you don’t love quite as much.

If you can make (not find) time for your hobbies and the things you enjoy in this world each day, it’ll make a huge impact. That’s why I have sections at the start of this blog about those very things (specifically writing and reading). Putting it at the top of the blog keeps me accountable and keeps it on the front of my mind because I want to have something positive to talk about the next day. If not, at least give yourself chunks of regular time to feed into yourself. If you don’t fill your own well, you’ll have no water to draw out for others.

May the tide carry you to safer shores.

BSG