Drawing from the Well
No change here since late last night. It took me an inordinate amount of time to write my blog post and by then I was exhausted so I went to bed. These things happen. Today is a new day.
Filling the Well
Bloodwitch: 27%
The Raven Boys: 69%
Like above, no change here because of the lateness of last night’s post. I’m hoping to get some time in today to listen to The Raven Boys and continue on with that book and maybe read some Bloodwitch tonight. I’m much more interested in Bloodwitch than I was Windwitch at this point in the book.
Polishing the Well
They finally made it. My junior and 7th grader are finishing the school year today which means summer vacation starts around noon. We’ve already started prepping for their church trip so it’s fun times here at the house.
Well Chat
Finding the Method That Works For You
Bad things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. So why worry?
– Simba, The Lion King
It is true that bad things happen and sometimes there is nothing you can do about the thing or its outcome. My wife always tells our kids that you can’t do anything about how people act, you can only do something about how you react. And that’s the key to coping with all things in life from failure to death to even success. I know it sounds crazy, but great success can be just as hard to deal with as great failure for some people.
I’ve seen both in my life, that’s for sure, and I certainly haven’t always dealt with it well. So what have I learned about failure (including my current feelings of failure over rejection letters) and what do I do about it now?
The first thing is that, initially, I do nothing. I ride the wave because my brain has to go on an emotional roller coaster at first whether I like it or not. If I try to jump off the ride, I’m going to end up circling back right to where I am. So up front, ride the emotional wave. Cry, rage, find a safe place so you can scream and flail. Let the emotional devil have his due. I let that go until my rational brain takes back over.
After that, I try to logic out the situation. Now that I’ve been subsumed in emotion, I fly to the other extreme and try to divorce myself through it. I make a plan for how I’m going to deal with things (I’ve mentioned I’m a planner by nature, right? 😉 ). Then I start executing the plan.
Obviously, nothing goes to plan. According to Leonard Snart from The Flash: “Make the plan. Execute the plan. Expect the plan to go off the rails. Throw away the plan.” Do you best to logic through it, but be prepared to backslide into raw emotion. As long as your backslides become further apart and last shorter each time, you’re making progress. The key in this phase is mindfulness. Be aware of what you’re feeling and try to be aware of why. Then think through how to counteract that so you can rise stronger than before.
Lastly, surround yourself with your support structure and your community. Nothing is worse about feelings of failure and inadequacy than lumping loneliness on top of it. As I stated in the linked posts, one of the most important things about being an author is being able to get some perspective on what is truly important in your life. Friends and family trump authorial success to me. You can be the most successful author in the world, but without love, it’s worthless. So if you’re really struggling, reach out and get some help to lift yourself out of those feelings that are drowning you. Whether it’s on your own through the strength of your will or through the love and will of others, find the ways of coping that work for you and USE THEM. You’re too valuable to stay stuck sitting in a puddle of your own tears.
May the tide carry you to safer shores.
BSG