Select Page

Drawing from the Well

Fifth Eighth
Chapter 46/91
Scene 285/508 – 56.1%
Word Count: 72,285 (+1,293) – 55.91%

I know that’s not much progress for almost two weeks of writing. Well, it’s twelve days of calendar time. It’s about two days of writing. Even that is pretty weak. I’ll get into what’s going on that’s generally sapping my willpower down below. Suffice it to say I’m in a slump thanks to exterior forces and I’m REALLY letting it get to me. Here’s hoping I turn things around between now and the next blog.

And it’s not even that I’m not excited about the writing. There’s a couple of major scenes coming up that just light my authorial fire. The thought of sitting at the computer and writing to get there though feels more like a chore right now.

And I know the adage of “if you don’t feel like writing THIS story then maybe THIS story isn’t the one you should be writing right now.” I get it. If I’m not excited about this story, no one else will be either. It’s not the story I’m not excited about; it’s the physical act of the writing.

Beyond that, though, just writing this blog feels fantastic. My fingers are flying over the keys and that sensation FEELS GOOD. So I’m going to redouble my efforts and try to get back to my joy.

So where are we? Well, you can guess by the fact that we’re in the 5th 8th that I’m past halfway which feels awesome. Some big things happened that cracked Grant’s group in half and sent them in different directions. Now I’m writing from a new POV and developing that character to do some cool things in the future. After that, I’ve got a chapter from Calm’s perspective. I’m excited to write from a more feral point of view. That should be great fun. I’ll let you know where we are at the next update.

Filling the Well

The Lies of Locke Lamora: 100% (Book 8 of 36 for #ProjectBookworm2020)
Shadows Edge: 100% (Book 9 of 36 for #ProjectBookworm2020)
Letters to a Young Poet: 100% (Book 10 of 36 for #ProjectBookworm2020)
Beyond the Shadows: 100% (Book 11 of 36 for #ProjectBookworm2020)
Night Flights: 100% (Book 12 of 36 for #ProjectBookworm2020)
Prince of Gods: 54%
Walkaway: 5%

I’m making lots of progress here. I’ve really leaned into audiobooks and am enjoying the freedom they give me to listen to incredible books while doing other things (like working).

The Lies of Locke Lamora was insaneley good. It’s got pirates and schemes and multi-layered conflict. It was a recommendation from a good friend years ago and I absolutely loved it. There are two other books in the series out right now and one forthcoming so I want to get into those soon.

The final two books in the Night Angel series were just as outstanding as the first. What a ride that whole series was. Every thread that was laid was paid off in the climax. As I said in my review of Beyond the Shadows, it was exquisite.

Letters to a Young Poet was eye-opening. I wish I was a self-aware as Rilke. I highlighted a lot of that book to go back and study. As for Night Flights, a novella in the Mortal Engines series, it was a fun little romp finding out where Anna Fang came from prior to the series proper.

As to the current reading, Prince of Gods is an interesting take of multitheistic deity life. I’m curious how it will tie in with the Society of Wishes Quartet. Walkaway is a haunting look at what life would be like “post-scarcity” meaning in a world where food and clothing are unlimited. I want to know where it goes. I’m trying listening to it at double speed but I have a sinking feeling I’m missing key information. I might have to bump back down to 1.75x speed. We’ll see.

There’s all the reading notes for now. As it stands, I’m 6 books ahead of schedule and a third of the way through my 36-book challenge for the year. The pace was a book every 10 days and I’m beating that so I’m really excited to see where I end up. I’m hoping to crack 50 books this year for the first time. Wish me luck!

Well Chat

Now that we’ve gotten the positive out of the way, let’s talk about what’s been going on in my life.

Work has been going great. I’ve been getting a lot done and prepping some big moves that are going to help evolve my department (which is my big, multi-year goal). I hope things keep going well and we make progress on the current initiative in the near-term.

Home life, on the other hand, has taken a turn. My wife’s cancer appears to have made a resurgence. I haven’t talked about it much here before so here’s a crash course:

Three years ago, the year before we got married, my wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, stage three. It was really scary (still is). We considered cancelling the wedding. We had to face some really dark eventualities. In the end, she went through surgery and a radioactive iodine treatment to eradicate all the cancer. However, we never got the all clear that the cancer was gone or she was in remission. We got married. She started a business. Everything went well.

Except her test results.

The numbers just kept tracking up. Now we’re at a point where the doctors have to do some more directed diagnostic tests to find out what is going on, where, and to what severity. We’re in the throes of that now. It’s a lot of trips to the hospital, a lot of long days, and a lot of waiting. As I write this, we’re three days away from having some initial answers. It could lead to more tests. It could lead to treatment. We just don’t know yet.

I’m strong for my wife. I’m also scared. This kind of thing has me to the point where I hate going to hospitals. I do it and support my wife happily, but it’s not a happy thing we have to do or go through. So we’re all kind of in survival mode right now to get through this until we know more.

And that has had an effect on my writing. My creative juices have turned to jam, my willpower to mush. It’s a sticky mess that I haven’t worked very hard to overcome. I’ve played a lot of WoW as a form of escapism that’s mindless and achievable to help me feel like I have control over something.

Here’s what I’m figuring out as I write this: I have control over a lot more AND a lot less than I give myself credit for. I can’t control what is going on in my wife’s body. I can’t control what the treatment or its outcome will be. I can’t control what it will cost or how it will affect our kids, our life. I CAN control my determination. I CAN control my willpower. And I CAN CONTROL MY CREATIVE SPARK. I know a lot of people talk about muses and when to show up and all that. Yes, I get struck by my muse sometimes and write a ton in a short period of time but, for me, that only happens AFTER I start writing. I get going and she shows up and we power through together. She never drags me to the keyboard. Ever. So she doesn’t have control over my creative motivation, I do. And it’s time to go back to work.

I have (what I think is) a great novel in my head. It’s exciting and has a lot to chew on from a human perspective. It makes me think so I think it will make others think. But none of it counts if I don’t get it out there. I know the first book isn’t out there yet; that’s okay. I don’t have the focus or funds to work on that right now. What I CAN work on is the next book and getting it written. Once written, I can edit and distill it down into its strongest form and then polish it to a mirror shine. Its time is coming but not if I don’t put the work in now.

So it’s back to the ink mines for me (it felt disingenuous to call them the salt mines because writing has nothing to do with salt other than an author being worth their salt so I guess it kind of works but ink made more on-the-face-of-it sense). I don’t know how productive I’ll be but I’m going to produce something.

Thanks for reading about the scary time in our lives right now and my growing determination to give you something to read. Have a great week and a great month and I’ll see you at my next update.

May the tide carry you to safer shores.

BSG